being a grown-up

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’re as old as you are because you’re doing what you’re doing.”

Chris D’Elia | 1980 - | American comedian

Without taking into account the many variables (maybe hundreds of variables) that can impact a person's life throughout (and those variables that can impact a person's life on any given day or week), I believe some of our negative behaviors that are acceptable at certain ages gradually become unacceptable as we cross other ages.

When I read or hear about someone doing something bad within an organization, I think about those people around that person who sit back and say nothing. I call them supines ... a word I've fallen in love with over the last year. It's not a dictionaried word ... yet. (Neither is dictionaried, so be careful.)

Supine is 'failing to act or protest as a result of moral weakness or indolence.' Indolence is 'avoidance of activity or exertion; laziness.'

"That's just unacceptable."

What if more of us helped each other out by consistently sharing that thought when we hear, see, or experience bad behaviors? Kindly and/or privately, of course. Maybe the 'just' should be removed. It could be a little antagonizing ... less antagonizing than D'Elia's approach though ;-)

"That's unacceptable."

I understand how difficult it might be to say that in a toxic environment that doesn't  love their people. I can feel through your screen those of you cringing at the thought of what might happen if you shared that thought with that person a few cubes or offices down that needs to hear it ... or even more difficult, if your manager needs to hear it.

But, if we're going to get to that more enjoyable day we all want, we need to help each other out (consistently) with more truth and less sidelining of that truth.

No excuses. No drama. No complaints.


I heard D'Elia's thought listening to one of his podcasts. Fans might enjoy the segment where he shares it. If you fly frequently, you might really enjoy it. I did and I'm a 'plane talker' ...  but a tasteful one ;-)

Don't watch/listen to it if vulgar language is ... ironically ... unacceptable to you. The segment is about 6.5 minutes. The lead-in to the thought above is at about 49:00. Some of the segments before and after are way too much for me. My 19-year-old sent it to me. (I'm the best parent in the world.)

A couple afterthoughts on introducing the 'that's unacceptable' idea...

"We gotta work to make that unacceptable."

"Let's work to make that unacceptable from now on."

More to come on this. But, you can get started right now.  Our messages can help you talk about things in an easy but structured way.

No excuses. No drama. No complaints.


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